Not such an amazing day...

Welp, it had to happen; I had to have one tough day for all the wonderful days I've been having...

And today was a tough day. For sure.

I started out working in the costume shop. Very exciting! But I got there ten minutes late. Big surprise, right? Ugh...

Everything was fine at first. I was ready to work as soon as I got there, but they really didn't have anything for me to work on. The Cutter/Draper didn't know anyone was coming in, so he didn't have anything ready for me. So, he gave me a skirt to put some hooks on the waistband and left to me to it. Later, they put some music on and it reminded me of working in the PCPA costume shop; I LOVE those girls (and Dave) who worked in the shop at PCPA, so hearing Queen and all the goodies music made me totally comfortable to be there and stitching and whatnot. So, I started humming, because that's what I do when I'm comfortable, or hearing music I know.

After about three songs of my humming along - emphasis on the humming; I was not singing or even opening my mouth for the sound to come out - the guy who is my superior stops what he's doing abruptly and looks at me and says, "Lizz."

With a ready attitude, "Yes? Oh, am I too loud?" knowing full well I was not too loud but hoping that he would say something completely different than...

"Uh, just a little," with a somewhat hidden attitude that I didn't at first catch.

"Okay, sorry." Silence!

More silence. From me, but not Pandora Radio.

And, I guess I was tired, but it started upsetting me. And I had to hold back sobs so no one could tell it hurt me.

People don't realize that the way an actor - or in my case at that particular time, singer - expresses his or her emotions is through their art, and when you squash that particular impulse, you squash their whole day, sometimes their whole being for that tiny instant and it stays with them forever.

Moving on.

I was done at noon and was supposed to meet Jimmy, a housemate, to work on some singing techniques in one of the practice rooms at MAB (the Mesa Arts Building). He didn't show up, but I had vaguely remembered he said he wasn't out of class until 12:50pm. Anyway, it didn't bother me or anything.

When we did finally get together, it was awesome! I've never been able to teach someone about the singing techniques Judith has taught me. I mean, every now and then I will "impose" a tiny tip or two to people who are willing to listen, but Jimmy was just ALL EARS and when I worked with him on a few breathing techniques and then alignment tips and then rooting and grounding, he felt the difference! And I heard the difference! He was so incredibly happy because I helped him sing a few notes higher than he normally can sing. But it was all him. He was just willing to listen and take the risk.

It was exciting. Helping someone.

Jessica and Jimmy both helped me pick an appropriate song for my Hänsel and Gretel audition too. I had been wanting to sing for them for awhile and being able to sing for people before an audition is important for me. Especially the kind of audition I've never before done - opera.

I rocked too. Then, we finished up and all went our separate ways.

When I went back after eating an early dinner, I remembered Clair de Lune (the UCI women's Chamber Choir) was holding auditions at the practice rooms, so I asked if I could do a walk-in audition and if it was okay to sing my opera piece. They were blown away! Then they had me do a few scales to see my range. At that moment it was Csharp3 to G6. WOOT! G6!!

Then they had me sight-read while they were also singing other parts and I got really confused. That was the worst I've ever done on sight-reading and I'm not bad, just not educated in it. But they still liked me and it gave me the confidence I needed for the Opera audition later that evening:

I had been emailing back and forth with the director of the UCI Opera's Production of Hänsel and Gretel since last night, when I heard that they were holding auditions. As it turns out, they already held auditions, and these were the callbacks for the Dew Fairy and Sandman because all other roles had been cast. So, I researched the Dew Fairy a little last night because I really liked her aria, more so than the Sandman, although her aria was also lovely.

I checked my email at the Library and found out he wanted me to SING the Dew Fairy Aria!! Ah, I didn't know it nearly well enough to sing it, especially for an audition! It was my worst audition in terms of preparation - having been only giving the libretto this afternoon! (Which, thank you God, he told the others in the room so they would be aware.) But I realized after the fact, that I kept apologizing for not being more prepared, even if I didn't say the actual words, "I'm sorry."

I sang 16 bars of "Quando Men Vo" from La Bohème and what little I could of the Dew Fairy Aria, for having learned it on my own, without an accompanist and PLUNKING out the notes, which I wasn't even sure if they were correct because I can read music! Apparently, they wanted more than 16 bars of "Quando..." but I'm so used to cutting up music for Music Theatre auditions. Well, that and that's as far in the aria that Judith and I got before I decided to work on Musical Theatre songs during my lessons. Silly now that I think of it. I have a classically trained voice, and no songs to sing.

So, I ended up singing only about the first page of the Dew Fairy Aria and had to stop and apologize because I didn't know the rest well enough to continue.

The director said I have an amazing voice and that if I ever consider changing my major to the Vocal Arts Major, they would be happy to have me. I didn't even know there was one. But I don't think I can do Music Theatre AND Vocal Arts. Why do they do that? It's lame. ... He never officially said "but," but I knew he was saying "Maybe next year," when he told me that in the program I would learn to (basically) be more prepared and know the material for which I was auditioning.

Unfortunately, that means I will never be able to hear "Quando Men Vo" the same. Not that it now has a negative effect on me; just that it will be different now.

I know, Judith, you are jumping up in terror that I wasn't prepared, but try to remember that I got the material this afternoon and still can't play the piano and did my best to learn it and sang the most beautiful audition/ vocal performance to date, regardless of how short it was.

Big Sigh... and another.

... Maybe one more.

Surprisingly, when I went to change immediately after my audition, I burst into tears because I could barely contain them.

Maybe I'm lonely and home-sick.

Or a person can only keep a calm and positive outlook for so long.