These should probably ALL be separate posts, but I don't care; I'm putting them all into one. :)
Enjoy.
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"Be careful to obey all the commands I am giving you today. Then you will live and multiply, and you will enter and occupy the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors.
Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, and to find out whether or not you would really obey his commands. Yes, he humbled you by letting you go hungry and then feeding you with manna, a food previously unknown to you and your ancestors.
He did it to teach you that people need more than bread for their life; real life comes by feeding on every word of the Lord.
For all these forty years your clothes didn't wear out, and your feet didn't blister or swell. So you should realize that just as a parent disciplines a child, the Lord your God disciplines you to help you. So obey the commands of the Lord your God by walking in his ways and fearing him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing streams and pools of water, with springs that gush forth in to valleys and hills.
... But that is the time to be careful! Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations, and laws.
... Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Do not forget that he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness with poisonous snakes and scorpions, where it was so hot and dry.
... He did this to humble you and test you for your own good. He did it so you would never think that it was your own strength and energy that made you wealthy.
Always remember that it is the Lord your God who gives you power to become rich, and he does it to fulfill the covenant he made with your ancestors.
But I assure you of this: If you ever forget the Lord our God and follow other gods, worshiping and bowing down to them, you will certainly be destroyed. Just as the Lord has destroyed other nations in your path, you also will be destroyed for not obeying the Lord your God."
Deuteronomy 8:1-7, 11, 14-19
It's strange, but I'm sure not uncommon, that I make so many "promises" and "plans." Usually they are just to myself, so when I break them, it's not that big of a deal. When I started this blog, the promises were made to you, the reader. If I know any better, I'm speaking to solely you, Mummy, which is fine. I'm learning to accept that most people are busy and don't want to read a bunch of wordy hubbub from a girl they don't even see that often. But what happens when I made those promises to God and break them? Just like a lot of people, I get embarrassed and we don't really talk for awhile because I'm so embarrassed. Well, he talks, and I kind of hear, but I don't listen. And I certainly don't talk back. Except for the occasional, "Thanks for this beautiful day, God." or "You made those stars for me; thanks!" But that's not enough. In the ways of my promises, I could just say, "It stops here. I won't make any more promises!" But that's also a promise ... one that I can't keep.
It's been a hard and trying few weeks here in Irvine and while I was home for Spring Break. I'm not lying when I say that I opened this blog website sooo many times to start a current post, and then it sat, minimized on the side of my screen... until my stupid Mac OS system would crash and I would forget that this window was open. Although, it didn't really matter that it closed, because I rarely had anything typed out. Sheesh!
I've been tired; I'm getting more joint pain and localized heat radiating off my knees and knuckles, but I've been dealing. I deal with the stairs in my house on campus, and I deal with walking to classes, and I deal with carrying large loads to and from my car on grocery and/or (un)packing trips - although, that last one could probably be helped with more trips, but you can tell which is more preferable.
An update on my physical well-being, or lack thereof:
After three months of trying desperately to get an appointment to see an Irvine Rheumatologist, God gave me TWO appointments on the same day! I kept them both, saw both doctors and decided to stay with Dr. Leehealey, located in Irvine, as opposed to the various different doctors I would be seeing at the UCI Medical Center in Orange (and occasionally on UCI campus) because then I could get my Orencia infusions here in Irvine, and not have to drive alllll thhheee waaay to Orange every four weeks. So, there: three months for appointment, but I had to wait the two months for the appointment to happen. So, went to both appointments, and was referred to two infusion centers. Neither of them called, of course. So, I did the work and called one of them. Two weeks later, I got an appointment for April 4th. Yes, that was last week.
...
In the meantime... while I desperately awaited my April 4th appointment... I made numerous phone calls to my insurance lady for my school insurance, phone calls to the woman on the East Coast who works my case for the company who is willing to pay for my $1,500 medication once a month, and the lady at the infusion center.
Not to mention, I was rear-ended March 24th, on my way home from Irvine for Spring Break. Yep. Made it to Carpinteria on the 101N, when traffic slowed suddenly and right as I was stopping, I look into my rear-view mirror to see a car swerving towards me with massive blackish smoke-clouds emerging from her tires!! And coming right for me! Thank you, God, that I was not totally stopped just yet, so I turned my wheels to the right and started out of the way - silly me, my thoughts were to get out of her way to give her more time to stop, but there was NO way she would have stopped in time. Thank you, God, again that there was NO ONE in the right lane AT ALL! despite the traffic, so when she hit my back driver's side, she pushed me into the empty right lane and into the right shoulder curb.
I am proud of myself. I saw her, I prepared myself, mentally and physically (I straightened myself up, and braced with my hands on the wheel... even with the incredibly LOUD Legally Blonde the Musical song I was listening to.) I prevented the car in front of me from being involved. You would be proud too. I don't even care that they didn't stop to see if either of us were okay; but that was one fewer car involved, so whatever.
We were both okay, just shaken up, but they wouldn't let me drive my car away on account of the tail-lamp being broken. It's a big deal, apparently. So, they towed me, and ALLL the stuff in my car I was bring home to put in the garage (my car and trunk were FULL) and they fixed my flat tire and patched up the lamp so I could drive the rest of the two hours home to Oceano.
However, as 'okay' as we both were, I still had to make more phone calls still now to car insurance, in addition to medical and health insurance companies. I have AAA - yay! - The girl who hit me has Progressive - not yay. The repair shop couldn't touch it until Progressive had someone come look at the car and get an estimate. Of course they waited about 5 days to do this. THEN it took the repair shop a few more days to fix it because they had to wait for the right parts. Poo poo on Progressive. But Eagle Collision Repair on Brisco Rd. in Grover Beach were EXCELLENT! They fixed the car as soon as they could and even repainted the top of my car and buffed the hood! It looked gorgeous afterward! ... Of course, I was in a rental for the whole week and the first whole week of Spring Quarter when I went back to school, because of Progressive. But hey, I'm 21 years old and I got a rental car. You have to be 25 years old in normal circumstances. So, it was cool.
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Prior to leaving UCI for Spring Break, my roommie, Joyce, and I decided it was finally time to rearrange our room! We'd been planning it for awhile and we were always too busy or too tired to do it, so we finally figured out a time before both of us left for Spring Break.
Now... we have a LOT of stuff. I think if it was a competition between us and all the girls we live with put together - and probably the guys too - I'd say we would win, hands down, in having the most amount of stuff. But we are 'well-rounded'. Joyce has mostly shoes, and clothing, and make up, hair stuff and accessories. I have electronics and craft stuff and shelf-ish-type things and cork-boards full of papers and stuff! ... Needless to say, lots of stuff!
So, how did we manage to move around so much stuff??
To be more specific:
This is the result of our rearrangement.
I like the spirit-like essence in the center of the photo...
and my God and Adam hand on the side... I wish I had known I was making this gesture; Joyce could have been doing it on the other side and we'd have the full Michelangelo painting, but in our room. Haha.
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Let's see, what else has been happening in my life??
Oh, yes, the reason for the Bible verse atop this post...
Life has been tough. Not that it hadn't always had its moments.
I've had the car accident, not having my Orencia for nearly six months - so not being able to dance, or work out at the gym or have the energy to do really anything. I had to play phone tag with a woman on the East Coast (which meant not much time between classes to actually get ahold of her with the time-difference), phone tag with health insurance, phone tag with car insurance and the repair shop. My body is tired and in pain. Not being able to be home with my friends and my mommy. My dad is going blind (although there is a little hope there, so I've heard today) and I already don't get to see him very often. I've got moolah issues to think about because I've been paying all my medical bills out of my own empty pocket - which is only being replenished with Federal Financial Aid (Don't tell them, though, or I won't get any more! It's against the rules, technically.)
I've had my share of tears. But none compared to the utter and enormous PUNCH in my stomach from finding out two days before my infusion appointment (you know, the one I've been trying to get for six months now... the one that is supposed to be taken once every four weeks) ... that infusion center doesn't support the company that will be sending my medication. So, now, I've got nada. No medication, no appointment, and no energy to boot.
I literally couldn't stop crying. It was like Diane Keaton's character in Something's Gotta Give, when she is writing her book and crying every four seconds. Then she stops, breaths, and you can see in her eyes, all of a sudden she's remembering why she was crying and is suddenly crying once more.
And my problems aren't even half as bad as some of my friends' issues.
But for now, this is what I've had to live with. So why haven't I been on my knees every second of the day, thanking God that He's brought me through it, or is bringing me through it?
I don't have an answer. Except to say, I should be.
So, to tie in the Bible verse, part of me feels like all of these terrible things that have been happening in my life are a big test. It might not be, but maybe I should have been treating them like one, seeing as the test is "am I still seeking God even when I can't see Him? Even when my troubles are so great, that it might seem like He disappears?"
I knew during all of it that God has a reason for what has been happening - and I still don't really know what it is - and I was thanking God that I was still alive and everyone was okay after the accident, and thanking Him that I can still walk and do most to all things even in my Arthritis fatigue and pain, and all without medication....
But I wasn't seeking Him.
You can see food set on a plate in front of you and acknowledge its existence; it is there.
But until you put it in your mouth, chew it, and swallow it,
it can't give you the nutrients you need.
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On a happier note, I made a short film while I was home for Spring Break!
I've been wanting to make one for years! Since Katie Beckstrom Muller and I made our directing debut on the very popular and widely acclaimed "Battle of Troy" which featured our favourite stuffed animals and lots of fishing wire.
The short film is still in post-production, but as soon as it's finished being edited, I will enter it into the UCI ZotFest Film Festival! It will be awesome!
And of course I will post it here when it is finished, if the file is not too big. :)
AND...
I've been talking of donating my hair for years!! And I finally did it!
I got a cute little bob at a salon in Costa Mesa, just outside of Irvine.
Before (obviously)...
and...
AFTER!!
It's cuter in person. :)
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In my Winter Costume Design class, our final project was to design the costumes for a production of the play Dracula. It is the closest version to Bram Stoker's original novel.
Our assignment was to design costumes in a Victorian, Steampunk or Film Noir style. Of course I picked Steampunk.
So, I created two concept collages.
One for Transylvania and one for London,
where Dracula spends a lot of his time in the novel and play.
They are a little hard to see because they are small pictures, but it's the concept that's important.
London.
These images are more rustic and blues and creams.
Transylvania.
These images are more oranges and greens.
Mina is a human that Dracula chose to be one of his brides, to be his most-beloved bride.
Here she is a Vampire.
(Throughout the play, she is slowly becoming more and more like Dracula after he bit her. But she is saved in the end.)
A Bride Of Dracula.
(She didn't make it.)
Lucy as a Vampire.
Lucy was one of the first woman chosen by Dracula in the beginning of the play.
After being turned into a Vampire, unbeknownst to the lead men in the show (who were in love with her), they are forced to drive a wooden stake through her heart, to "save her soul."
Dracula:
Left: In Transylvania, when he is old and dusty and rusty, and hasn't had any blood for awhile.
Right: In London, he is "fifty years younger" and more clean and clean-cut. (The lines in his cape are like the veins in a bat's wing.)
Also good (I don't know if I already mentioned...)
I'm going to Italy to study abroad this Summer!! Wooot!
I will be studying Comedia dell' arte in Arezzo, Tuscany.
My passport should be coming in the mail anytime now!
I'm also applying for The Orion Fund Grant which is specifically for Students with outstanding or future medical costs! It's specifically for medical costs!! Which is awesome! So I wouldn't have to keep paying for things out of my Federal Financial Aid! (I started using my inheritance from when my Granny died at one point.) We'll see if I get it though.
I participated in the MS Walk (Multiple Sclerosis) on the UCI campus this passed Saturday. It was super short; one mile. I wasn't expecting that. But I don't think my body could have taken any more that morning.
However, later that evening, I was invited to a Sisters-in-Christ Appreciation Dinner hosted by the men of UCI's InterVarsity. It was sooo great!! And so sweet of them!
And....!!! I danced!
I realized... I haven't danced (especially not like this) for at least six months. Probably longer. Actually, yes, longer. Since Shimmy Shake Shine rehearsals. (I didn't really dance that much in the show, or in the Fantasticks. Not intensely. And sweat-worthy.)
It was amazing. And my body hurts. But it was oh, so worth it!
I'll post pictures if I can find any on Facebook cause I forgot my camera.
Well, you're in luck, cause that's all for now. :)
Thanks for reading. And caring. :)
Love you, Mommy. Hehehe....
